The Inner Me and the Outer Me

Lately I’ve experienced a surge of artistic inspiration that has lead to the completion of many painted canvasses, turning my room into a pseudo-gallery of sorts. While I’ve had moments of inspiration in the past, they were exactly that --moments, never lasting for more than a few hours, simple artistic endeavors that amounted to half-finished pieces strewn about the floor.

While gratitude certainly plays a huge role in all of this, it also goes beyond it, turning gratitude into a foundation on which all of this inspired creation rests. Being grateful is no longer an exercise --it has become a belief, a thought practiced over and over again as Abraham would say, and I can say with certainty that it has been ingrained into my being in a way that it has never been before.

But I digress.

During the past year, since my uncle passed away, I’ve had some very interesting out-of-body experiences, experiences that I’ve come to discover as astral projections. After having had these experiences I became deeply fascinated with the astral realm and, more importantly, the methodology for projecting one’s consciousness out of the physical body and into the astral realm. I started reading some of Erin Pavlina’s articles on the subject and I also purchased Robert Bruce’s Astral Dynamics, and both described my experiences to a T. I would like to now share a few of those experiences with you, and I promise once I do I’ll explain how it lead (or at least how I think it lead) to the recent burst of creativity I’ve experienced.

The First Time I Went Astral (And remembered it)

It had been a regular day. I woke up, had breakfast, did some journaling, and began getting ready for my shift at work. It went by rather quickly and I wasn’t too tired when I arrived home. As I mentioned before in a previous blog entry my sleeping pattern hasn’t been the most consistent within the span of the past year, so with that said I did all of my insomniatic activities such as checking my e-mail and other online messages, reading some blogs, reading some books, and watching T.V. Then, finally I headed to bed and fell asleep easier than usual.

Before I continue on with the actual experience of being outside of my physical body I feel I should preface it with the fact that I have, throughout my entire life, had experiences with sleep paralysis, something else that I have come to learn is quite intricately connected to astral projection. In my experience with sleep paralysis I wake up fully conscious yet unable to move any part of my body. But accompanying this is also a sense of fear, the root of which I have not yet been able to understand or identify until now. There have also been instances where I feel as though a presence of some sort is sitting on top of my body, or sitting nearby watching me. Eventually, and sometimes this will last for several minutes, I gather up enough will and energy to move a limb or to make a noise which usually breaks the paralysis and sends me back to sleep.

The feelings I begin to have at the onset of sleep paralysis is very distinct, and so during this particular experience I felt as though sleep paralysis was yet again looming over the horizon of my twin-sized bed. The next thing I knew I was awake, feeling as though I would soon slip into the usual sensation of not being able to move, but what happened instead was something I had never experienced prior to that very moment. I felt the strangest tingling in my toes, a very deep vibration that seemed to be coming out of the very molecules of my body, moving up through my legs and settling into the pit of my stomach. I can’t remember exactly if I fell asleep again or if at that very moment I made the exit out of my body. At any rate, the sensation of actually being outside of one’s body is a very surreal feeling. I was acutely aware of my body being in the position it was in in my bed, yet at the same time I was also aware that I wasn’t inside of it. As a matter of fact it felt as though I was floating right above it, and soon thereafter it felt as though I was rotating around near the edge of the bed looking up at the ceiling. The next thing I knew I was awake, back in my body, and it was morning.

The Second Time I Went Astral (And Attempted to … Do Stuff)

Again I found myself waking up in bed, experiencing the same sensations as I mentioned above --the vibrations in my toes, moving up my legs and settling into my stomach. After this happened I was actually able to will myself to get out of bed and move toward my window. I remember I had specifically told my brother that the next time I had an astral experience I would fly. So I when I got to my window I attempted to walk through it, however as I tried to move through the wall it felt as though the window screen was preventing me from going all the way through. When I realized that I also felt something tugging at my back. Then and there I decided that perhaps I wasn’t yet ready to start flying around San Diego, so I started walking back toward my bed. On my way back though I happened to look at myself in the mirror, something that I haven’t even been able to do in my dreams, lucid and not lucid. For the most part I looked like me except it seemed like there were ripples moving around my face. I turned and saw my body in bed and that’s the last thing I remember before waking up.

Energy Centers and My Chakras

Reading just a few chapters out of Astral Dynamics really inspired to me to energize my Self (and thus my energy body? Sorry, still wrapping my mind around some of this stuff and the techniques involved) in order to have controlled and conscious exit astral projections. I went to Erin Pavlina’s site, checked out her article on chakras and actually tried the exercise on “unclogging” one’s chakras, setting them into bright, spinning motion. I’ve also been doing a lot of meditation, focusing inward, guiding myself through relaxing images in my mind in attempts to ask my spirit guides for help. In turn I believe that all of these activities have somehow tapped into my creative energies, thus leading me to all of the pieces that I have been recently producing.

The Inner You and the Outer You.

As I’ve stated before in previous entries, that which you project you reflect, and this entire experience that I’ve been describing thus far is no exception. The focus I gave to the energy within me without a doubt tuned my thoughts to a very specific vibration, a vibration which allowed me to attract things into my physical reality that helped perpetuate the very things to which I was giving my attention. The Inner Me and the Outer Me, so to speak, were meeting on common spiritual ground, and I understood this was so because of how I felt during the process --inspired, excited, passionate, and most importantly grateful.

I’ve manifested many different outlets of opportunity to get my artwork out into the public. I had a seemingly serendipitous encounter with a lady on the street as I carried two of my canvasses home after work, which ended with her commissioning me to do two pieces for her and her boyfriend’s space in Downtown, San Diego. And just recently a friend of mine contacted me and asked if I’d like to have my work displayed at Dyke March’s art walk this summer.

A lot of religious people have conversations with God, whether in prayer at church or in prayer at the comfort of their own home. I liken this to the process of intention-manifestation, the way I have come to understand it anyway. You really have to be clear to the Universe, to your Self essentially, about what you want, know deep down inside that YOU are the Source from which everything else comes into fruition, and supplement that with positive energy and deep gratitude. Through the Law of Attraction circumstances and co-creators must come into your reality because of the vibration of your thoughts. The process of looking into my inner-being, especially during these past few months, has been a very mind-opening experience, in that I’ve been able to create, attract, and interact with the elements of my reality in a way that I’ve never been aware of before.

It’s been pretty freakin’ awesome if you ask me … Well? Go on, ask me in a comment! =)